In time you give the reason for this withering season?

Just reading the last pages of Joy Division "Touching from the distance" book, written by Deborah Curtis, Ian wife. The book was full of despair and suffering, almost everything bad that happened were objected towards to Deborah, ok, Ian had really bad epilepsy also, but neverthless, the book wasnt that enjoyable. But nice music Joy Division made in their time..

I hate people that are complaining all the time for the things that are not that bad, the things that can be overcome, but here i go myself.. Not going to go to the details, but the life is not going like i thought it should go.. i dont know, basically everything is fine, but i feel that i am missing something all the time ( yes longing in the spiritual way and missing the point of my life)

I know, i do things that are "invisible" to outside world and i know that someone knows.. the way it should be. But i need more..

I dont know.. i dont have anymore to say.. i gave my life to him.. my heart and soul