on seventh day..

And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done.. and on seventh day mr polso entered his blog again.. i have rested enough...

I feel like i am not seeing and doing everything that i should "my vision is blurred" like in Extol song.. i feel like this world is not giving me all the things that my soul is yearning( of course this world is not giving me anything what my truly inner is wanting). Dont get me wrong, i like basic daily routines, but besides that i need more, something more to this dying core!!!! yes, i feel frustrated, bored and i feel useless, what is my purpose here ? i dont know.. days go by, again again i do things that i shoudnt do.. not so bad things but some little things that irritates me and takes my attraction from the highest..

yes i know what i should do, but i am too lazy and maybe i am waiting for some big miracle angel coming next to me and saying "this is what you should do markus" wouldnt that be nice? :) yes it would. i dont know.. maybe someday something happens, maybe i should fast little bit ?

ok, but thats life.. i am not hiding my feelings now..

whats happening this week ? a lot of music playing, Callisto is having a show in Turku, and KK music group is also having a gig in Mikaels church.. come and see.

take care folks, i try to, dont worry, i am ok :)

playlist

Sabbath Assembly

Jex Thoth

Sigur Ros

Down

Sahg

Earthless

Sysmä!!!

Crazy weekend ( 16, 17 and 18th day )

On friday went to Sysmä to celebrate my cousins birthdays, it was nice time, small village in the middle of Finland, nice surroundings, they live by the "päijänne" went to see some "nighttime" of Sysmä, oh boy, it was wild, everyone dancing like maniacs and drunk as hell! :) Small town fun.. honest fun? i think there is like 3000 people living there... stayed up till 3 am and slept in a really hot hot room.. i hate this summer!

on saturday went to Helsinki to meet some relatives and friends, and again went to sleep about 3am or something, so lack of sleep the whole weekend :) on sunday it was jail time, we held a ceremony in local prison in Turku, it was nice time, we have been there earlier before..

ok, this writing seems so boring even to my eyes so i will quit now and come back when i have some real things to say..

playlist

Lilium

Anekdoten

Wovenhand

Sink

Grand Magus

Ataturk band

Someday ?

Hi to everyone!

on 7th day we went to Kokkola and played one show there, it was nostalgic time, maybe not the best place for a decent show, but it was ok. Had the chance to see some relatives and some old old friends from the past. It was weird to play in Kokkola ( actually it is Kälviä ) about 7 kilometres from the place where we played was Callisto first rehearshal place ( 1997 - 2000 ) me and Juho, the bass player of Callisto played in the same band before we formed Callisto in 2001. Weird feelings.. :) And i sow our old Rosetemple roadie Tero Nygård there, i havent seen that guy maybe in 6 - 7 years ? We drove right after the show to Turku, crazy ? yes.

on 9th day we went to island Nötö about 65 km from Turku with my wife and her grandparents, it was relaxing time!

I have some doubts that we manage to record Weeping Pilgrim material this month.. seems that time is flying too fast and nothing is happening ( ok we have songs ready and we have played them ) but that`s not enough. I think we have good songs and they deserve to be heard, there is too much shitty music around the world if i can be little cynical and rude...

Did i tell you its too hot in here! i cannot do the things that i want to do because of the heat.. damn heat! I love autumn and winter.

Still waiting my vision to be completed, or maybe i dont notice it that it`s already happening and i have done some parts of my work here, a lot is to be done, i know deep down inside me and it frustrates me sometimes.. but i have to be patient. But i dont complain ( little bit ) this is my dream come true time, but there is so much things that i want to do and many of the things needs some other people and usually i find myself being disappointed, but no can do, i know we have our own lives.. and my situation is blessed at the moment and i cannot demand the same amount of time that i have now from others.. complex situation.

Flowers are almost dying in our yard because of the heat.. but i found there was 2 -4 cherrys in our cherry three! :) my dear neighbour is offering me some food soon.. nice time!

i have found this writing really inspiring and therapeutic... its nice.

take care, bye!

playlist at the moment

- All the great Denver area bands

- Satyricon

- Meshuggah

- Anekdoten

- Deathspell Omega

- The walkabouts

- Dead can dance

Is there anybody out there ?

Kokkola trip was nostalgic! :) sow almost every relative i have there and some good old friends from the past. nice trip indeed. But to be honest, i have really good memories from my hometown, i lived there 21 years of my life. But at the moment i like live in Turku, no going back to north..

and then came the Tuska festival, i went there with my two good friends in crime... 3 main bands didnt disappoint me that i was plan to see: The unholy trinity of norwegian black metal : Satyricon, Ihsahn and Mayhem. Extreme music, the lyrics = not my cup of tea, but i have liked black metal for years now, some see big contradiction being christian and listening black metal, to be honest i dont care, there is so much bigger and important issues in life to worry about, that is my opinion. It was nice trip!

Then back to Turku.. it`s freaking hot in here, i dont like it. ok its nice, but now its too hot.

I think everyone who knows me, knows that i am man with big plans and high hopes.. its really hard because most of the time i see myself being let down and thinking too negative and my plans dont go like i want them to go.. but maybe that is the main problem, like i said earlier, I am trying too much.. but its hard to trust God sometimes and let him plan my life.... when something is not happening i let myself freedom to sink down to misery and self-pity which is really bad, i know it, because normally i am positive guy. i dont know, right at the moment, i dont see any purpose why i am spending this year "free" but i think its natural..

These lyrics express my feelings quite well at the moment :

I close my eyes
It's not the picture of You I see
The impressions, the sight, the thoughts
Are stuck into my mind

My vision is blurred
I can't see clearly
I can't hear Your voice
It's all disturbing my peace of mind

Something inside tearing me apart
Trusting myself to find the way out
Leading me just deeper into
A well of confusion and mourning

There is nothing else for me to do
But to put my hope and trust in You
I know You will lead me through
When my eyes are focused on You

Let me dwell in Your shelter
Let me live in Your shadow
Free me from these destroying plagues
Your faithfulness is my shield and protection

ok, i dont have anything special to say anymore, people, stay true to your vision! dont let anyone take it away.